October 14

My friend Mary Jane had several of us roaring with laughter as she said, “When our eldest son had been married for several years and had his first child, I was trying to be the parent/grandmother for the first time that didn’t interfere. Feeling like I was doing a pretty good job at that, I asked him, ‘How am I doing cutting the strings?’ He looked at me and said, ‘Mom you haven’t even taken the scissors out of the drawer yet!’” Boy, could we all identify with my friend and most likely many of our kids identified with her son!

We do want to let them go but it is oh, so hard. We think we know what’s best for them. It’s a habit we sharpened over the years. Plus, we know some of the scary things out there in the world. We’re old enough to have experienced many of them!

When our two sons were in college they came to us, along with two of their friends, with a proposal for a cross country bike trip—ocean to ocean. They had it all worked out from how to pay for it, to the route and safety precautions. “Mom and Dad, would you pray about this and then we’ll talk again?” they asked. Pray? I thought, no way. I just wanted to say NO!

But the boys “had us” and after we studied their plans and prayed, we realized that this was something we needed to say “yes” to. It was going to be fraught with danger and yet ripe with maturity. For us, it was also going to be a huge step of faith in cutting some of our strings. All that summer I prayed fervently. Psalm 91 became my biker’s prayer and has continued to be my comfort in times of fear for my children. The boys started with their bikes (yes, the peddling kind) off the coast of Oregon and peddled into Virginia Beach sixty-two days later to a large crowd of family and friends.

Letting go is never easy. It is best done one small step at a time, over a period of many years. Maybe by the time our own kids are grandparents we’ll have cut all those strings! Or, maybe not!